Iain Lee vs the Exotic Flower

On my way home from work, today, via Tesco, I was listening to "the 3 and 1/2 Hour, 3 to 6:30, Iain Lee Afternoon Wireless Show, on LBC 97.3, London (Sky 0177 or via the net at: http://www.lbc973.co.uk/ ), as I usually do every weekday afternoon, if I am not working during those hours. I happen to think Iain Lee is the funniest person on UK radio. After parking my car in front of the house, I sat in it for a few minutes, waiting for Iain to go to a break, so I could go inside without missing any. I noticed M1's car parked outside. It's unusual for him to be home that early.
Iain went to a break, so I tried to scurry in with my groceries, attempting to shield the toilet paper, so M1 wouldn't notice it, if he looked out of his window. As I entered the house, I was surprised to find both him and the Exotic Flower laying on one of the settees in the lounge, watching Sky again. He looked asleep, but she was definitely awake. I used my body to hide the toilet paper from her view, then maneuvered into the kitchen, to put my groceries away. I called out, "hello," through the hatch between the kitchen and the lounge. M1 looked up, turning out to be awake after all. I asked the Exotic Flower what they were watching, She told me, "My Super Sweet 16." After putting away my groceries, I went upstairs, hiding the toilet paper in my room.
I changed out of my work clothes, then took a much needed visit to the water closet (WC). I had found a copy of today's' "Daily Mail," in the restaurant, so I took it with me, to play sudoku during my visit to the WC. I noticed someone had put out one roll of toilet paper. Once enthroned, I started thumbing through the paper, looking for the sudoku. I scanned through the paper, front to back, then back to front, several times, but I couldn't find the sudoku. Finally, I found a panel that indicated the sudoku was on pages 51 and 52. I turned to page 51. No, I didn't! After page 50, the next page was...55! Some twat had removed the sudoku pages from the paper. Arrrgh! I settled for reading some of the stories in the paper, instead.
Once my time in the WC had come to an end, I had a decision to make. No, not whether to wash my hands. I always wash my hands. Should I go to my room and listen to the rest of Iain Lee's show, or go downstairs and watch TV with the Exotic Flower ...and what's his name? I hope Iain will forgive me...I chose the Flower! By the time I got back downstairs, "My Super Sweet 16" had ended. M1 put on "Futurama." From the makers of "The Simpsons," "Futurama" is animated and has a female cyclops. Why is there something sexy about a woman with a single eye in the middle of her face? Well, it's different. The flower didn't want to watch "Futurama."
We careened through late afternoon/early evening television, as M1 and the Flower bickered over what to watch and who would control the remote. At one point, she said to him, "go fuck a waitress." That was interesting, given the recent rumors that M1 was fooling around with a waitress at the restaurant where he works. "I don't want a waitress," he said, "I only want you." How creepy.
The bickering finally ended at 7:30PM, when "Eastenders" came on. At least M1 and I can agree on something: it's a great show. After "Eastenders" finished, they went upstairs to get ready to go out. They were going to go see, "Step Up," at the cinema. When they came back down, the Flower was dressed in white trousers, and a black top. with a silver and black belt. M1 just had on casual jeans and a jumper. "You dress nicely for the cinema," I said to the Flower. M1 chimed in that it was wasted, when they were just going to sit in a dark room. "Just be glad you have a beautiful girlfriend," I said to him. The Flower thanked me for the compliment. Out they went, into the night.