Saturday, December 16, 2006

I suppose I Owe Iain Lee

I suppose I owe Iain Lee an article. I spoke to him on air, Thursday, during his "3 and 1/2 Hour, 3-6:30, Iain Lee Afternoon Wireless Show," on LBC 97.3, London (Sky Channel 0177 or via the net at: ). I reward radio presenters who give me airtime, by publicizing their shows in my blog. It's sort of like "one hand washes the other." Agent Chris, Iain's producer, was absent from work that day, recovering from the party the night before. The lovely Lucy was filling in. I decided to take advantage of Chris' absence and test my theory that I do better with female producers than I do with males. Although Chris occasionally puts me on, more times than not, he never calls back. Lucy usually produces the Nick Abbot show, also on LBC, Saturday nights, from 10PM to 1AM. I have called Nick's show several times and spoken to Lucy, so she's familiar with me. To my recollection, she's always called me back, every time. Thursday was no exception. After I spoke to her, she called me back so quickly, I almost got whiplash.
I was glad to get on air with Iain, as his show is moving to a new time slot. I wanted to speak to him at least one last time, before he leaves afternoon drive. I have been thinking about confessing to him for some time, now. What did I have to confess? Only that I copied an idea from him. Several months ago, Iain announced how he'd amused himself one weekend, by calling these premium rate, quiz shows that seem all the rage, here in Britain. He would call back, over and over, and deliberately give the answer, "is it Ghostbusters II?" He said it was amusing to do so. I liked the idea and decided to try it, myself. Not being on as high an income as our Iain, there was no way I was going to call these premium rate, quiz lines. So, instead, I called Opal Bonfante.
Opal is my favorite female, radio DJ in the world. Every night that she does her "London Calling" show, on the Big L, 1395AM (Sky 0190, or via the net at: ), she does a couple of contests. One is the hilarious "Spit or Swallow," where Opal gargles a song and listeners have to guess what song she is gargling. The other is Opal's, "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of My Coma," which involves her listing items she would bring to a celebrity in a coma and listeners have to try to guess the identity of the celebrity, from the items she mentions. I could call Opal for a small fee, or enter free, via email. I began my campaign of answering every edition of Opal's contests with, "is it Ghostbusters II?" Her puzzled reaction was hilarious. Ironically, I discovered Opal through Iain Lee's Myspace page. He had her listed as a "friend." For ages, Opal asked me to explain why I kept guessing, "Ghostbusters II," when it was obviously not the answer. I kept avoiding answering, only saying, "it's an inside joke." As Opal is a devoted reader of this blog, she now has her explanation. Opal's radio show is Tuesday through Thursday, 10PM to 2AM. She also appears on Gala TV, Sky 841, hosting a bingo show, on weekends.
When I got on air with Iain, I explained that I had used his "Ghostbusters II" idea. He said a lot of people have been doing it. He then stopped talking rather quickly, so I decided to bring up another subject, to keep the call going. Earlier in the week, the debate over whether the Apollo moon landings were real, or faked, resurrected on Iain's show. Iain is of the opinion that they were real, as am I. I wanted to get on for that one, but wasn't able to. I decided to make my comment now, while I had the chance. "Iain, the next time someone questions the moon landings," I said, "ask them a question. Surely, if the moon landings were faked, wouldn't the Russians have told everyone?"
"That's a good point, Joseph," Iain said and promptly cut me off. Then on air, he continued, "which doesn't make any sense." Didn't Iain get it? If the moon landings were faked, the Russians, who were Cold War rivals of the US, at the time, would have been able to enjoy an intelligence coup of monumental proportions, by outing the American fraud. The fact that the Russians didn't do this implies that there was no fraud. The moon landings were real. Iain has never had a lot of patience for me. Our interactions have never taken off, the way they did between me and Opal. This despite the fact that Iain and I share some of the same tastes and opinions. He made no mention of the fact that I have devoted my "top friends," on Myspace, to his show, to honor the change in time slot. Instead, he seems to prefer mumbling Asian lads and other assorted oddballs. I wonder why? Could it be "Ghostbusters II?"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

did you read my whole blog dude? i dont think so but thx 4 comment

10:11 AM  

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