He's Lost That Polish Feeling

A 24-year-old, Polish immigrant, Thomasz Stepniowski, appeared in court on Monday, to answer charges of sexual assault. He was approaching female strangers on the streets of Weymouth, in Dorset, and fondling their breasts, pinching their asses, and making grunting noises. When questioned by police, he told them that he didn't realize this sort of thing was illegal in Britain. Stepniowski said such a thing would not be considered illegal, back in Poland. His female interpreter interrupted police questioning to say that such behavior is considered "flirtatious," in Eastern Europe. This is the perfect excuse, if you are an immigrant. If I ever have a confrontation with British police, over anything, I will say, "I am an immigrant. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Such behavior isn't illegal in America."
I have worked with several Poles, over the past year. I notice that the males always seem so happy and pleasant. Maybe this is why. A spokesman for the Polish Embassy denied Stepniowski's claim and said indecent assault is against Polish law. Well, he would say that. The point isn't whether Poland has laws against indecent assault, it's whether anyone would file a complaint for such behavior. Typical politician's answer: say something that doesn't directly address the issue under consideration. I think the Polish diplomatic service blew a great opportunity to boost the country's tourist industry. They should own up to it, if the practice is commonplace. Horny British men would then flock to Poland, on vacation, to sample the local fruits, as it were.
We have a new, female, Polish catering assistant, at the restaurant. Chef Anthony and I were discussing the possible ramifications, the other day. He suggested that we should go give her bits a squeeze. I advised against it. Poland has been on my list of places to visit, for some time. If only I could afford a trip right now.