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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Mary, Mary...Quite Contrary

London radio presenter, Iain Lee, (LBC 97.3, Sky 0177, or http://www.lbc973.co.uk/ ), who also hosts "Celebrity Soup," on E! Entertainment Channel, has made some unflattering comments about old people, over the past twelve months. Maybe he has a point. Today, I was back working at the golf club I have been working at on and off, over the summer. I was working with an old woman named Mary. Hey, that's kind of funny, huh? Mary...Joseph...real New testament stuff, that. Anyway, this Mary was the most sour faced, miserable person I have ever had the misfortune to spend four and a half hours with.
I can be quite charming when I want to be. Mary didn't give me a lot to work with, though. I can imagine that she probably looked pretty good, once upon a time, but she's really let herself go. Still I tried to be entertaining and make conversation, to pass the time. I would have gotten more conversation from a stone wall. What's worse, is that she started commenting on what I was doing. That's enough to wind me up. When I am working, I like to do my work without some old crone moaning about the way I am doing it. The woman in charge had asked me to do something a little different to the way we normally do it, so I was complying wit her instructions. Old Mary stated complaining, that I wasn't doing it right, because she wasn't privy to the instructions I had been given. I told her that I was following the instructions I had been given from the boss, but that didn't shut her up. Why can't she just concentrate on doing her own work? Why does she have to keep involving herself in what I am doing?
Mary is one of these persons who likes to keep cleaing work surfaces,. over and over again, even though, a few minutes later, they just get dirty again. I prefer to clean them once, at the end of the shift, when I know we are finished. Why do the same job several times? Along those lines, there was a sink I was responsible for cleaning. Food particles would clog the drain and the water would build up in it. The sink wasn't being used for anything, so this didn't matter. After clearing it several times, early in the day, when it was slow, I left it, because I was busy doing other things. As long as I clean it out before I leave, everything is cool. Over the afternoon, quite a lot of water built up in this sink. Just when I was talking to the boss, over comes Mary. She looks in the sink and says, "this sink is full of water," like she's just discovered the Holy Grail, or something.
I looked down at her (because she's short as toadstool), and in my most sarcastic, New York accent, I replied, "oh...you figured that out all on your own?"
She gave me her most evil witch's glare...the one she probably uses to frighten little children, on Halloween, when she refuses to give them any treats, and snaps, "don't be sarky!"
Tell it to someone who cares, Mrs. Methuselah. "I'm from New York," I retorted," New Yorkers are sarcastic, but I am sure you've experienced sarcasm enough that you'll survive it." She grumbled, but proceeded to clean the sink herself. Oh well, I didn't expect her to. She should have just minded her own business and left me to it. She usually leaves earlier than anyone else. Today she stayed extra time, as if deliberately to bother me. Could this have been what Hitler's mother was like?

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