What Is It With Producers?
Written 27th June, 2006:
This past Friday evening, Caroline Faraday didn't do her regular show on LBC 97.3, London. As she was off, sexy celebrity, Abi Titmus, was filling in. For those of you not familiar with Abi, see: www.abititmus.com
As a regular listener and caller to Caroline, I tuned in especially to check Abi out, since she doesn't usually do talk radio presenting. One of the topics Abi mentioned was asking people to phone in with stories about flying. Oh, I had a good one! A funny thing that happened when I was working as a pilot in America, back in the 1980s. So I called in. Some producer answered. A male. Oy Vey! I usually have more success with female producers. I think the females like my voice. When you call in to LBC, the producer answers and asks what you want to talk about and this one was no exception. The producers can see, on their computers, if you have called in before. As I am a regular LBC caller, he would have been aware of that. I told him I wanted to tell Abi a story about what happened at an airport when I was working as a pilot. He asked for more information. What more do you need to know? I told him, "it's a funny story about what some pilots said over the radio." What an opportunity! How many pilots would they get calling in?
"Okay, I will try to call you back," he said, unenthusiastically. I suspected he wouldn't and I was right. It was if he wanted me to tell him the whole story first. When I called Bill Buckley's show with my earlobe joke, a male producer asked me to tell him the joke, first. I said I preferred to say it over the air. He questioned whether it was dirty and I assured him it was not. He knew I regularly called Bill so he trusted me. Bill liked my joke so much, he rated it as one of the top five that night. To me, calling in to talk radio is like performance art. I want the performance to be fresh. I don't want to do the whole thing, word for word to some producer, then try to recreate the magic on air. I am willing to give a summary of what I am going to say and do and that should be enough, I think.
Yesterday afternoon, I decided to call Iain Lee's show. Lately, Iain has taken to doing a Jack Bauer impression. He usually ends up doing this with other, British callers and they all do such bad American accents. So I thought up a bit where I call in as someone from CTU Los Angeles and speak to Iain as if he's Jack Bauer. As an America, I would sound the part better than anyone else. It would be great! So, I get his current producer, Agent Chris on the line. I say, "hi Chris," and he recognizes me and addresses me by name, as I have been on Iain's show before. I tell Chris, "I want to talk to Iain as Jack Bauer."
"You are going to be Jack Bauer," he asked? Several people have called in doing Jack Bauer impressions.
"No," I clarified, "I want Iain to be Jack Bauer."
"Ok, I will call you back," Chris said. He didn't ask anything else and he sounded positive, so I thought he would call back, as he has before. He didn't. Now one of the reasons I called was that Chris is being exchanged with Clive Bull's producer, Bob, as of Thursday. As Iain is off Today, Tuesday, to do "Big Brother's Little Brother," I couldn't do the bit with him, then. That leaves only Wednesday, then Chris is gone. What is Chris doing? For Pete's sake, Chris and I are even "friends" on Myspace! It would have been perfect today, as not long after I called in, someone else called in and said that Iain should stop doing Jack Bauer calls. Iain argued against this. How perfect radio it would have been to follow that call up with my Jack Bauer bit with Iain! This was an opportunity missed. What poor producing! No wonder Iain wants to get rid of him. Maybe I would have had more success with Bob. We'll find out.
I have just finish speaking on Adrian Allen's show, on LBC. He had a female producer. When I called in, she called me back fairly quickly and put me on. See what I mean? After my appearance on Adrian's show, he received an email from a Trisha who said she heard me on the show and liked how I sounded. She wanted to say, "hello" to me. Hey, nice! Hello to you, too, Trisha!
Of course, there is the great failure of "Big Brother's" producers to select me for the show, this year. Because of all these failures by producers, people are being deprived of my creative genius. No wonder the Queen hasn't knighted me yet.
This past Friday evening, Caroline Faraday didn't do her regular show on LBC 97.3, London. As she was off, sexy celebrity, Abi Titmus, was filling in. For those of you not familiar with Abi, see: www.abititmus.com
As a regular listener and caller to Caroline, I tuned in especially to check Abi out, since she doesn't usually do talk radio presenting. One of the topics Abi mentioned was asking people to phone in with stories about flying. Oh, I had a good one! A funny thing that happened when I was working as a pilot in America, back in the 1980s. So I called in. Some producer answered. A male. Oy Vey! I usually have more success with female producers. I think the females like my voice. When you call in to LBC, the producer answers and asks what you want to talk about and this one was no exception. The producers can see, on their computers, if you have called in before. As I am a regular LBC caller, he would have been aware of that. I told him I wanted to tell Abi a story about what happened at an airport when I was working as a pilot. He asked for more information. What more do you need to know? I told him, "it's a funny story about what some pilots said over the radio." What an opportunity! How many pilots would they get calling in?
"Okay, I will try to call you back," he said, unenthusiastically. I suspected he wouldn't and I was right. It was if he wanted me to tell him the whole story first. When I called Bill Buckley's show with my earlobe joke, a male producer asked me to tell him the joke, first. I said I preferred to say it over the air. He questioned whether it was dirty and I assured him it was not. He knew I regularly called Bill so he trusted me. Bill liked my joke so much, he rated it as one of the top five that night. To me, calling in to talk radio is like performance art. I want the performance to be fresh. I don't want to do the whole thing, word for word to some producer, then try to recreate the magic on air. I am willing to give a summary of what I am going to say and do and that should be enough, I think.
Yesterday afternoon, I decided to call Iain Lee's show. Lately, Iain has taken to doing a Jack Bauer impression. He usually ends up doing this with other, British callers and they all do such bad American accents. So I thought up a bit where I call in as someone from CTU Los Angeles and speak to Iain as if he's Jack Bauer. As an America, I would sound the part better than anyone else. It would be great! So, I get his current producer, Agent Chris on the line. I say, "hi Chris," and he recognizes me and addresses me by name, as I have been on Iain's show before. I tell Chris, "I want to talk to Iain as Jack Bauer."
"You are going to be Jack Bauer," he asked? Several people have called in doing Jack Bauer impressions.
"No," I clarified, "I want Iain to be Jack Bauer."
"Ok, I will call you back," Chris said. He didn't ask anything else and he sounded positive, so I thought he would call back, as he has before. He didn't. Now one of the reasons I called was that Chris is being exchanged with Clive Bull's producer, Bob, as of Thursday. As Iain is off Today, Tuesday, to do "Big Brother's Little Brother," I couldn't do the bit with him, then. That leaves only Wednesday, then Chris is gone. What is Chris doing? For Pete's sake, Chris and I are even "friends" on Myspace! It would have been perfect today, as not long after I called in, someone else called in and said that Iain should stop doing Jack Bauer calls. Iain argued against this. How perfect radio it would have been to follow that call up with my Jack Bauer bit with Iain! This was an opportunity missed. What poor producing! No wonder Iain wants to get rid of him. Maybe I would have had more success with Bob. We'll find out.
I have just finish speaking on Adrian Allen's show, on LBC. He had a female producer. When I called in, she called me back fairly quickly and put me on. See what I mean? After my appearance on Adrian's show, he received an email from a Trisha who said she heard me on the show and liked how I sounded. She wanted to say, "hello" to me. Hey, nice! Hello to you, too, Trisha!
Of course, there is the great failure of "Big Brother's" producers to select me for the show, this year. Because of all these failures by producers, people are being deprived of my creative genius. No wonder the Queen hasn't knighted me yet.
posted by Joey B at 7:09 PM
.jpg)
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home