Trouser Trout

When I got home, today, and sat down in front of my computer, I found that I had a hole in my trousers. I feel an inclination to say, "in my pants," as that is what people in America tend to say, for trousers. However, here in England, "pants" are underwear and people say "trousers." This is the same pair of trousers that I sewed several months ago. It spilt along the crotch seam. I wonder how long that hole was there, today? Well, as I wore briefs the same color as the trousers, maybe no one noticed.
The hem of one trouser leg had been hanging down for some time. I kept telling myself that I must sew it, one day, but kept putting it off. When I would get home, I never felt like it. On weekends, relaxation always seemed to take precedence. I had two more pairs that also need sewing, which I have been keeping on my "to do" list. Okay, I guess it is time to get out a needle and thread.
My evil ex-wife, also known as the Black Queen, would never imagine me sewing my own trousers. A few years ago, neither would I have! Over the years, various people have sewn things for me. Back home, my grandmother and mother used to mend stuff. My grandmother was the Queen of Mending, patching things, sewing on buttons, and sewing up holes. My mother would also lend a stitch, although she sometimes relied on her sewing machine, rather than old fashioned, by hand. Of course, my grandmother is dead now and my mother is 3500 miles away.
In the past, when neither maternal seamstress was available, I would pay professional tailors. Financial considerations, these days, render that option less appealing. Okay, so I got on with it. I sewed the split seam And the trouser leg hem. And while I was at it, I stitched the other two pairs of trousers, as well. Might as well get at it, while I am in the mood. Necessity is a real mother! Now I wonder, is there a hole in this story? Or have I stitched it out of whole cloth?
Questions? Comments?