Calling Opal

Written July 1st, 2006:

I have called into another radio station. I was talking to radio DJ, Opal Bonfante, via Myspace, when she suggested I call in to her show. She can be heard on BigL 1395AM, Sky 0190, and supposedly via the net at:http://www.bigl.co.uk/index.htm
She's very hot and funny, which is a great combination. I had told her Iain Lee had said I have a scary voice. She was kind of, like, "Iain who?" She lured me to come on her show, daring me to call in and let her hear my "scary" voice. I have trouble resisting dares. When I called the station's number, her producer answered...another guy. I said I wanted to talk to Opal. He said, "what about?"
She does a music show. This is not talk radio. I was bluntly honest. "She has been talking to me on the internet and she said I should call her show, so here I am, calling." He asked me who in was and I told him, "Joseph in Bracknell." Does he not know who I am? He put me on hold and, subsequently, Opal picked up the phone. She seemed genuinely pleased to hear from me. Perhaps she is a good actress.
I agreed to come on air. Of course I would, I love airtime. I had managed to listen to about 10 minutes of her show on Sky, while eating breakfast, so I was a little inhibited, as I wasn;t that familiar with their format, yet. She was playing old soul music, then "Another One Bites the Dust," by Queen. I worried that she would ask me for a request and I couldn't think of anything I wanted t hear that fit her format. James Brown popped into mind. "Doin it to Death," which is my favorite James Brown song, but they probably won't have that one. She was looking for the "saddest" listener to win a prize. Did I want to claim that prize? Well, maybe I could skip that. Before she put me on, she asked if I would be funny for her. Oh, put me on the spot, will you? I hardly know you! The things I get myself into for a pretty woman.
We started chatting on air. She said my voice is a little funny. Oh no! Not again! She brought up the saddest listener thing. Oh, I can't avoid it. I told her how I spent over an hour and forty minutes trying to get the live stream of the BigL just to hear her show. How sad is that? She seemed to think that qualified. She decided to give me the prize for "saddest listener," What an honor. Opal told me I had won a BigL goody bag. Wow, I could sleep at night now. Well, I do like free stuff. I had trouble sounding enthusiastic enough. I think she noticed. I let her know I had the reputation for sounding "laid back." Then she asked me if I wanted to request a song. Exactly what I was afraid of. Oh, I do know radio formats. I threw out "James Brown." She suggested one track by the hardest working man in show business. I said, "fine." Opal accused me of not caring. Well, she's insightful, I didn't. She suggested another one. Fine Opal, just do one of them! I mentioned that "Doin' It to Death" is my favorite JB song. As I suspected, they didn't have that one. She'd never heard of it and suggested I had made that up. It's real, I own a copy!
Opal also stated that I was a new listener and asked me what station they had lured me from. "LBC 97.3," I answered. She then chastised me for publicizing them! Well, Opal, you asked. Finally she said goodbye. I thought I would be put on hold, so her producer could take my details to send me my prize. Click! The line went dead. Oh well.
Opal then sent me a message via the internet, to call back in and give her producer my details for my prize. Apparently, the phone system at the station has a problem where it cuts people off when she tries to put them on hold from the studio. She continued talking to me via internet messages until her show finished at 2PM. Given that BigL's transmitter is down, I started wondering if she was so keen to select me as the winner because I was the only one listening. Then she said, on air, that she thought my voice was overtly sexual, rather than scary. Now that is a prize worth having!
Opal is on from 10AM to 2PM, Saturday. Tonight, she is covering another shift starting at 10PM. She also does London Calling from 10PM to 5AM, Mondays through Thursdays, on the same station. All times are UK time. If you live outside the UK, you do the math! Give her a try, she truly is hot and funny.