Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Married Life: the Black Queen Story Part 6

The honeymoon was over, literally. On the day we returned to the UK, I had a job interview. If was for a job in a call centre, as a travel agent, selling travel products over the phone. The interview went well enough, because I got the job. My wife said they were probably taking anyone with a pulse. My first day on the job was 13th July, 1998. I took the train, like a real commuter. I had to change trains twice, in a round about route from Hook, the village we lived in, to Bracknell, where the call centre was located. When I came home, my wife was waiting for me at the train station, with the kids. How thoughtful she was, then. My new job paid commission only and it quickly dawned on me that I couldn't afford the train fare. My wife was working in Datchet, on the other side of Windsor from Bracknell, so she and I started riding to work together. She would drop me off in Bracknell, then continue on to Datchet.
After about a month of car pooling, my wife started to complain about the arrangement. We decided that I should buy a motorcycle, which would give me transport of my own. Once I had my bike, my wife was happier. For a while, life was good. I had an instant family; a wife, two stepchildren, and a dog. For Christmas, my wife bought me a pay-as-you-go mobile phone. Every night, before I left work, I would phone her and let her know I was on my way. She used to have dinner ready just as I got home. The dog used to follow me around the house and lay at my feet. We used to go for Sunday dinners at my in-laws, which would be barbecues during the summer months. Every other weekend, the children's father would have them for the weekend, so my wife and I would have time alone.
After a year, my wife suggested that we buy a house. If we were only staying in the UK temporarily, I asked her, "why buy?" It soon became apparent that we weren't going anywhere. We ended up buying the house we were renting, so we got our house without moving. Life was good...for a while. We went on several vacations, including: Majorca, Tunisia, Venice, Orlando, and New York. D---a went from working as a bookkeeper to studying accounting. An early strain appeared, which took the form of my wife being jealous of the time I spent on the internet. This might have been because I met her, originally, over the internet. D---a began to nag a bit, trying to get me to do ever increasing amounts of DIY as well as household chores. I started to volunteer for overtime, at work. We needed the money and it got me out of DIY. Gradually, sex became less and less frequent. When I asked D---a why we were having sex less frequently than we had when we were dating, she said that during out dating period, it had felt like she was on holiday. Now was everyday married life. Yes, the honeymoon was definitely over.
Over the years, my wife became more and more testy. I used to tell her I loved her, regularly. Her response was to say that I said it too easily, so I must not mean it. More and more, she found fault with me. I started to feel that no matter how much I earned, it was never enough. I never thought about leaving her, though, as I was committed to our marriage. Then she said she thought I was too lazy to make a good father, so she wasn't going to have a child by me. That was a serious problem, as having children was the main reason for getting married. The following year, she said she'd decided I was good enough to have a baby with, just not yet. Where would it all end?

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