Friday, December 08, 2006

Where's Our Christmas Decorations?

This evening, Nando and I were relaxing in the lounge, watching TV. He had put "The Simpsons" on, but ended up turning away from it, because there was too much singing in it, for him. I put on "Married With Children," and Nando went to remove his laundry from the washing machine. He was trying to hang it up in the utility room, to dry, but without clothespins. I asked Nando if he wanted to borrow my clothespins and he did. I sat back down, in the lounge, watching the program. M1 came in the front door, without the Exotic Flower. She usually comes over on Fridays, to stay the weekend. I asked M1 where the Flower was.
"Cutting someone's hair," he replied. He asked what I was watching.
"Married With Children," I explained. "Have you ever seen it?"
He shook his head, no, then said, "there must be something else on." I should hope so, we have like 1,000 channels. If he thought I was going to change away from what I was watching, he had another thing coming.
"Married With Children" ended and M1 picked up the remote control, and started flipping through the channels. He didn't ask me if I minded. M1 flipped through the channels, in rapid succession, rather than looking at the menu. I wondered why he doesn't use the menu. Eventually he did, to my relief. At first, his attention was drawn to one of his favorite programs, "Pimp My Ride." Thankfully, after reading the description of that episode, he moved on. M1 managed to find another "Simpsons" episode and put that on. Nando returned from his laundry adventure. Nando also likes "The Simpsons."
As the three of us were watching, Homer sent Marge and the kids to Santa's World, to get them out of the way, so a porn film can be filmed in their house. Suddenly, M1 asked me, "where's our Christmas decorations?"
I gave him a puzzled look and asked, "ours? What 'ours?' I don't have any Christmas decorations."
"I thought there might have been some house decorations," he explained. I shook my head in the negative. "Were there none, last year?"
"Last year?" I looked at him like he was an idiot. "I didn't live here last year," I reminded him. "I only moved in here in March. I looked over at Nando and asked him, "Nando, do you have any Christmas decorations?" I knew what his answer would be.
"I can't be bothered," Nando replied, in his thick, Italian accent. Nando and I both looked at M1, like we were looking upon a mental cripple.
"When I was married, my evil ex-wife and her kids used to put up Christmas decorations," I explained. "Since I have been divorced, I have had no interest in putting up Christmas decorations. If you want to put some up, feel free." Secretly, I hoped he wouldn't.
"That seems a bit bah, humbug," M1 said. His mobile rang. After a brief conversation on his phone, he got up and left.
When we were alone, Nando commented, "It's like a kid saying, 'Daddy, can we have some Christmas decorations?' " We both laughed at that. I sure hope he doesn't start putting up decorations.


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