Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Manly Chat With Iain Lee

Today, I called the 3 and 1/2 Hour, to 6:30, Iain Lee Afternoon Wireless Show, again (LBC 97.3, London...Sky Channel 0177, or via the net at: ). Iain was talking about shooting guns and speculating that it might be fun. He particularly wanted to try firing a machine gun. I wanted to call to ask a question about poached eggs, but Iain got tired of taking egg calls. I had hesitated calling, because I was waiting for a call back from a TV production company, about appearing on a new game show. The woman from the TV company had said she would call me back soon, after she got out of a meeting. I had already been waiting awhile and had missed out on eggs. Screw it, I decided to call Iain.
Lady Alex, standing in for Agent Chris again, answered my call. When he asked what I wanted to talk about, I said, "shooting guns." He said that figured, as I am American, then apologized for stereotyping. I don't care, I love guns. I find it funny that some people complain about positive stereotypes. For example, the stereotype that "Black" men have big penises. Surely, if you are a "Black" man, that's got to be one great stereotype to be branded with? Alex said he would call back, shortly.
In a little while, the phone rang. Would it be Lady Alex, or the TV woman? I answered and it was...Lady Alex. He put me on hold for Iain. Iain was in a commercial break, so I would be the next caller coming out of the ad break. Before he took my call, Iain started talking about a new razor with four or five blades and a battery, so it can vibrate. He said it was rubbish and that he nicked himself with it. Going to my call, he asked me if I used this battery powered shaving wonder. A new subject and one I had not prepared for. However, I was more rested today and just rolled with it. I told Iain I couldn't be bothered with this latest razor. I used to use a Trac II, but I have since switched back to disposables. They keep coming out with fancier and fancier razors. My Trac II had twin blades. Then they came out with three bladed ones. Then four. Now they have five bladed ones. Each new generation, they promise a closer shave. The problem with these multi-bladed razors is that they get hair caught between the blades, when you use them, and it's hard to get it out. As the hair residue builds up between the blades, the shaving effectiveness is diminished. When I stayed at a hotel, I was given a courtesy pack, which had an old style, single blade, Bic disposable in it. I didn't bother using it then, as I had a twin blade disposable, but one day, I was out of disposables and I used the Bic in desperation. I found that, as it's a single blade, it's easy to clean and doesn't get trapped hairs, like the multi-blades do. So the single blade disposables cost less to buy and last longer. Sometimes, simpler is better.
After the razor talk, Iain asked me what I had called in about. I brought up the shooting. I told Iain that I used to carry a gun, when I lived in America. Then I told Iain how I had gone off Chris Tarrant, after seeing him hosting some TV show, where he talked about an American family who collect guns. The family's collection includes an anti-aircraft gun. The family get together and fire their guns into the desert. Tarrant referred to them as crazy, in a very serious and disgusted way. At first, Iain said that an anti-aircraft gun was excessive. I pointed out that these people aren't hurting anyone and were just having a bit of fun. I stated that I would like to have a go at firing the anti-aircraft gun. Iain conceded that he would too.
Oh, what a manly conversation. Razors, then guns. You could almost feel the testosterone coursing through our veins. Nothing metrosexual about this conversation. In due course, the TV woman did call and I scheduled a casting session with her, in two weeks time. If only she could see how manly I was being on the radio.


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