Going to Star Wars Celebration Europe

On Saturday, I went to the Star Wars Celebration Europe, held at London's ExCel Centre. Upon arrival, I got in the queue (line) for tickets. It moved pretty fast and I was put ahead because I was paying cash. Although I had seen the price listed as £21 before I went, when I got to the cashier, it was £23. In addition, if you wanted a lanyard to hang your ticket around your neck, it was another £3. A pack of six autograph tokens was £30. An official program was £6. Sod all that, I just bought one adult ticket.
After buying my ticket, I had to join another queue (line) to get into the exhibition hall. This queue was so long, it started at the other end of the ExCel Centre, outside in the parking lot. Once I was safely in the queue, I started observing the other attendees. Geeks were all over the place. Loads of people were wearing various sorts of Star Wars T shirts. It struck me that I have a Star Wars T shirt, somewhere in my closet, but I didn't dig it out to wear. I guess I am just not enough of a geek. Nerds in T shirts were only the tip of the galactic iceberg. There were loads of people wearing Star Wars costumes. It was like being in freak central. Surely only guys would be wacky enough to dress up as someone in Star Wars. Then I spotted women. Not only unattractive, geeky women either. In front of me in the queue, there was a quite good looking young woman dressed as Senator Amidala, from "Episode II: Attack of the Clones." As had many of the others, she'd made her costume herself. Some parts were fashioned from paper and cardboard. What a find! A pretty woman who is so into "Star Wars," that she would make her own costume. And she was alone. At first, I thought she was with this family in front of her. They looked quite similar. This family had two young boys and one teenaged girl. I thought the costumed woman was their oldest daughter, as she looked like she was in her early twenties, which would have made her their first of four children. I noticed that none of the family were speaking to the costumed one. None of the family members had costumes on, so I thought they might be ignoring her, as she was the geeky child, who's eccentricities are tolerated.
The queue moved steadily and, eventually, we gained admittance to the exhibition hall. I would estimate that I waited in queue for about an hour. At the entrance, I noticed that costumed woman went in a different direction as the family. They weren't together! She didn't even have a date. Here we were, two single Star Wars lovers, passing like two starships in the night. Oh well. Inside the hall, the place was packed. There were people from all over Europe...Germans, Spanish, Poles...and, of course, loads of British. Some were dressed as Jedi, while others were dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms. Wandering around, I noticed that the majority of space in the exhibition hall was taken up by vendor stalls. So it seemed that one paid £23 ($46) for the privilege of being able to shop vendors and spend even more money. And it wasn't as if these vendors were offering bargains. A lightsabre replica was £75 ($150). I wasn't about to pay prices like that. After a couple of hours, I was starting to have my fill of the place. I regretted paying so much for so little. Still, I tried to find more to do, to make up for the admission price. I had the foresight to bring some food with me and was thus able to avoid the long queues for food, as well as the exorbitant prices.
In the afternoon, I joined a long queue for a show that was billed as having celebrity guests. Having heard that Mark Hamill was making an appearance, I hoped this would make it all worthwhile. After being seated, the show began with an announcer doing an impression of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He came across as sounding like a drunk Alec Guiness. The host of the show was announced and out walked Warwick Davis, the dwarf who played Wicket in "Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi." He was to interview a celebrity guest. When the guest was announced, it was Rick McCallum, producer of the newer, first three episodes. Oh joy! Not even one of the stars of the films. When Warrick finished interviewing McCallum, the show ended. What? That was it? I queued for over an hour for that?
As it got late in the day, the crowd thinned out. Checking out the autograph area, I didn't want to pay to get some actor's autograph, but I wanted to see what stars were there. Most of the actors present were unknowns who played this or that alien, or a bush in one episode or another. There was no way I was going to pay for another actor's autograph. Mark Hamill, the biggest star there, refused to accept "tokens" for his autograph. For an autographed photo with him, you had to cough up £85 ($170!). There was a long queue for Mark, while most of the others sat there, idle. I managed to keep myself occupied till 5:45 PM, then I'd had as much as I could take and left. I was extremely disappointed in the Celebration. It seemed like it was mostly about separating cash from the customers. Although I love the Star Wars films, this "celebration" was a let-down. The most interesting thing I noticed there was that some of the German attendees seemed a little too enthusiastic about dressing up as members of the Empire's military. Empire military uniforms are modeled on World War II Nazi uniforms, so there seemed a slightly worrying trend going on. Also, the British Royal Navy and Royal Army had displays there, trying to recruit people. They had posters comparing British military equipment with craft from Star Wars. There seemed to be something a little perverse about trying to lure young fans of Star Wars to join the military, so they can be shipped off to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. The next time I see a Star Wars Celebration advertised, I shall avoid it. I recommend you do the same.

Holy Shamrock, It's Almost St. Patrick's Day

I just had a thought. It's almost St. Patrick's Day and I haven't made any plans for celebrating it. The ideal thing would be to travel to Ireland for it, but I can't afford to do that, now. So, what shall I do? I don't know any Irish pubs around here. There were plenty of them, back in New York. In New York, there was always a St. Patrick's Day Parade. I even marched in it a couple of times. There's nothing like that around here. When I was a kid, myself and my fellow children were encouraged to wear something green on St. Patrick's Day. Who the heck came up with that? I don't really own a lot of green, these days. I have decided to indulge in a long held desire to learn to play Bridge. I have been invited to play in my first Bridge game, this Saturday. I probably won't get the others to play with green cards. Maybe I can put on a fake Irish accent during the game. What do you think? Will that work?

Fat Tuesday

Today is Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday. It's also known as "Pancake Day," here in England, because of the tradition of consuming pancakes on the day. Not proper American style pancakes, like you have for breakfast, with maple syrup. That's one thing I miss from America, proper pancakes. They need an International House of Pancakes (IHOP), here. These pancakes are basically what the French call crepes. They are thin and bland. I prefer the French name for the day, Mardi Gras, which translates as, "Fat Tuesday." Happy Fat Tuesday everyone. Go eat some stuff.

Happy New Year, Pigs!

Today is the first day of the Chinese new year and this year is the year of the pig, in Chinese astrology. The Chinese celebrate New Year for fifteen days. Man, what a party! The year I was born in is also a year of the pig, so is this year going to be a good one for me? The largest Chinese New Year celebrations outside of China are being held in Chinatown, in London, today. I would have liked to attend, but I couldn't be bothered traveling into London, today. I heard a Suzanna Kwok speaking on the radio, about the festivities in Chinatown. I wonder if she's related to Burt Kwok, the Chinese actor? She could be his granddaughter. I politely requested that Opal Bonfante, who claims to be dating Burt Kwok, ask him to introduce me to a Chinese gal, but Opal declined.
Why does all this Chinese New Year stuff matter to me? Well, for much of my life, I have been fascinated by all things Oriental. I have visited China and my evil ex-wife, the Black Queen was half Chinese. Her mother was from Hong Kong. As she was closer to her mother than to her English father, she tended to embrace a lot of Chinese cultural stuff. If we were still married, we'd be attending a Chinese New Year dinner at her mother's. I checked the compatibility between my evil ex-wife and I, under Chinese astrology, online. She is a tiger. I found the following on AOL:
"This is a warm and spiritual union, between two people who place importance on love, and know how to both give and receive it. You even share an equality of passionate response. As a couple, you mutually dislike tension and upset to your peace and quiet, and so it is rare for you to disagree with each other. You are successful, but money doesn't seem to be a major focus in your relationship."
Rare for us to disagree? Sounds like they have the wrong couple. We "share an equality of passionate response?" The Black Queen claimed we had nothing in common. I should have shown her this when we were still married. I guess it just goes to show that Chinese astrology is bunk, just like all other types of astrology. Why couldn't I have been something cool, like a tiger or a dragon? I would have to be a pig. Now I feel like lighting off a firecracker.