Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Last Night, I Dreamed About Iain Lee

Last night, I dreamed about London radio presenter, Iain Lee. Iain does a daily, drive time radio show, "The 3 and 1/2 Hour, 3-6:30, Iain Lee Afternoon Wireless Show," on LBC 97.3, London (Sky Channel 0177 or via the net, at: ), which, at the moment, is the best thing on UK radio. It's the closest thing I have found to Howard Stern, since I moved to England, although Iain has his own style. Iain also presents "Celebrity Soup," on E! Entertainment Channel. Ironically, Howard has/had a show on E!, as well.
Have I given Iain enough of a plug? In my dream, I was dropping off something at Iain's home, when I ran into him. I ended up inside and it was bigger than his current flat. It was like a big house, inside. His reception was very cool and I got the impression he was trying to get rid of me. Could this be a parallel with real life? Iain and I have a lot in common. We like many of he same TV shows, including "Lost" and "24." Iain is the first British person I have encountered who gets "Sienfeld." We both appreciate good literature, like "Slaughterhouse Five," by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., and don't like mediocre children's books, like "Harry Potter." We both like the Sugababes, although Iain rates them slightly higher than I do. We both appreciate attractive women. We both have owned cats and enjoy playing video games. We are both on Myspace. In fact it was Iain going on about Myspace which finally persuaded me to give it a try, in the first place. Iain has done stand up comedy, in the past, and I am currently doing it. With all this in common, you'd think we'd get along well, right?
Iain's afternoon show has been on just over a year and I have been a loyal listener, since the first day. I progressed to emailing the show, but he didn't read out many of my emails, on air. To be fair, he doesn't read out many emails from anyone. After a couple of months, I started calling the show. I did my Mr. T impression for him, as Iain likes Mr. T. I started calling regularly, but not excessively, but I found that I only got put on air some of the time. Often enough to keep me calling, but not enough for me to quite become a regular character on the show, like a number of others. Many of "the others," like Barry, Ben, Yasser, Varinder, Dr. Khan, Hunter and someone I won't even mention, were getting, or still do get, loads of airtime, while I remain on the fringes. Some of these callers are only marginally entertaining and some have ended up banned from calling the show. Iain went on to call me dull and all over the place, and then scary, later clarifying that he thinks I have a scary voice. It just doesn't seem to gel, with me and Iain, on air. Why not?
In contrast, London radio presenter, Opal Bonfante, who does "London Calling," on the Big L 1395 AM (Sky Channel 0190 or via the net, at: , gets on with me, wonderfully. Through most of the summer, she put me on air almost every day, for a good 10 to 15 minutes per show. Opal would discuss what we were going to do, off air, before we talked on air. She described my voice as, not scary, but overtly sexual. Things were going great between me and Opal, on air, when her new station manager, the evil Darth Chris, stopped her from taking callers on air. I am perfectly willing to work with whatever a presenter wants to do. If Iain would merely indicate what type of things he would like from me, then I would go in that direction. Maybe I seem all over the place, to him, because I keep trying different things to try to find what would be appealing to him.
Iain has claimed, on air, to read my blog, but has never, once, posted a comment to it. Opal comments quite regularly. Iain frequently posts comments on Varinder's Myspace profile, but never does on mine. When Varinder posts a comment on Iain's Myspace, he often gets a reply. When I do, I don't get a reply. At first, I thought it was just a gender thing. Iain being male, might not appreciate me as much as a female, like Opal does. However, Varinder is a male, so what gives? Am I being too nice? Did Varinder make such a pest of himself, that he ended up getting so much airtime? I have nothing against Varinder, but the amount of airtime he gets seems completely out of proportion to his actual entertainment value. Does Varinder have photos of Iain in a compromising position? Iain mentioned, on air, that Pauly in the Morden does stand up, but didn't mention me, even though Pauly and I both played the same night at the Wib Wob, recently. Pauly has made some fabulous MP3s based on my blog, yet they don't get played on Iain's show, even the last one, which didn't mention Tesco.
In another odd twist, Iain Lee claims to be friends with Opal Bonfante, yet Opal denies knowing him. I discovered Opal because Iain had her as a friend on Myspace. I was suspicious of Opal's claims not to even know who he is, when she was friends with him on Myspace, but she defended by saying she approves anyone who add requests her. Iain is known for his wind ups, so I was starting to doubt him, when another source, working at the Big L, confirmed to me that Iain and Opal are friends. Opal still denies this. Will the mystery ever be resolved? Either of them?
So, what caused the dream? Was it something I ate? I am neither obsessed with Iain, nor do I stalk him. I have never asked to be one of his "correspondents." I haven't attended a taping of "Celebrity Soup" and I haven't wandered the streets of Muswell Hill, hoping to run in to him. So why would I dream about him? I suspect it's because last night, right before I went to sleep, I changed most of my top friends on Myspace, to ones related to Iain's show. Actually, this was done for Varinder's benefit. He once asked me why he wasn't in my top friends, so I decided to give him a turn. He only goes and changes his name, on Myspace, just in time to throw it all off.


Post a Comment

<< Home