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Monday, October 09, 2006

A Tale of Two Kellies

"It was the best of times...it was the worst of times." It's not really possible to tell Lucas' story without telling the story of the other, Kelley. Back in December, 1979, when I asked Lucas to go to the radio station Christmas party with me and she declined, I started seeking someone else to go with. After all, it was a free night out and I didn't want to waste it. I had started working as the Assistant Manager of the Cinema East cinema, in Dewitt, New York, a suburb of Syracuse, because I wasn't making enough from the radio station. There were several good looking girls who worked there, with me. When I asked one, a beautiful blond named Danna, she declined, saying she had a boyfriend, but suggested that her cousin, Kelley, would be interested. Kelley had only recently started working at the Cinema East.
I didn't realize it at the time, but Danna was playing a practical joke on me and/or Kelley. At that time, there was a lot of racism in Syracuse. I don't know if it's still that way, as I moved away from there in 1982. America tends to be a lot more intensely racial than Britain. In America, back in the late 70s, not much was made of "mixed race" people. The attitude prevalent in America was that if you weren't one hundred percent "white," you were "black." The historical roots for this attitude may stem back to anti-miscegenation laws, in America, which made it illegal for different races to inter-marry. It used to be said, if you had "one drop of black blood," you were "black." As light as I am, Danna and Kelley, as well as many others, saw me as "black." Due to the racist attitudes Kelley was exposed to in her family, there was no way she would have said yes, when I asked her out. Danna knew this, but thought it would be funny to trick me into asking Kelley. I did and Kelley declined, of course. Danna had a big laugh at our expense.
Eventually, I found someone else to go to the party with; a "black" girl who was the secretary in the rental office of my apartment building. Sometime later, though, a strange thing happened. Kelley approached me at work and asked if I was still interested in going out with her. At the time, Lucas was in one of her "just friends" stages and I wasn't dating anyone, so I said yes. I don't know what made her change her mind, but her parents refused to meet me for the next six months, because I was "black." She was the first "white" woman I had an adult relationship with and I certainly was her first "non-white" relationship. I think it was a learning experience for both of us.
After dating her for about six months, I had a heart to heart talk with her. I told Kelley that I liked her, but I didn't foresee much of a future for us. She wasn't the type of girl I wanted too marry. She smoked and wasn't educated beyond secondary school. An even bigger stumbling block was her seeming lack of intelligence. I wanted the mother of my children to be rather clever. So, I told her I would understand if she wanted to end the relationship and find someone else. Alternatively, if she wanted to keep seeing me, I was willing, so long as she understood that I was looking for someone to marry and, eventually, I would be off. Kelley decided to keep seeing me.
By 1981, I had had enough of Syracuse and planned to move back to Long Island. I had a year on the lease of the apartment, so my plan was to move when the lease was up. I moved at the beginning of July, 1982. Kelley rode with me in the rented truck I used to bring my possessions the 200 plus miles from Syracuse to Long Island. She spent a few days with me, on Long Island, before heading back to her parent's home in East Syracuse. The distance sort of wound down our relationship to a friends with benefits sort of thing. I would occasionally visit her in Syracuse, as well as visit my fraternity brothers and friends from university, and sometimes, she would visit me. Having been away from my hometown for almost six years, I joined a dating service, to meet some single women. The quest for a wife continued. After a couple of years, Kelley said she wanted to move down to Long Island. She said she found Syracuse dull and was tired of living with her parents. I encouraged her, offering her a cheap place to stay till she got on her feet. I had inherited a part ownership of my family home, shared with my grandmother. There was a spare room and I thought it would be good to rent it. With assurances she could stay with me, temporarily, till she got herself established, Kelley began making plans to relocate to Long Island.
Then, in the autumn of 1985, Lucas resurfaced, as I wrote previously in, "A Dream." I was in regular touch with Kelley and immediately informed her. After Lucas and I started dating, I won four tickets to the circus. Kelley came down for the weekend and I invited my Phi Beta Sigma, line brother and best friend from university, Steven Poston, to go as well, kind of as an escort for Kelley. As I was still friendly with Kelley, I wanted her and Lucas to get along. So the four of us went to the circus together. Unbeknownst to me, Lucas was not happy about this. At one point during the show, she went to the restrooms. She considered leaving us there, without a word, but had no idea how to get from where we were back to the Bronx, so she returned and put up with the rest of the evening. It was hard for me to understand how Lucas could be jealous of Kelley, because I knew that there was no way I would choose Kelley over her. I had waited seven years for Lucas and no one else could compare, in my mind. But to Lucas, Kelley was a woman I had dated and lived with for a couple of years, so she viewed her as a threat. Now, here's the really ironic bit. Lucas' first name is Kelly, spelled differently than Kelley's but pronounced the same. They were both born on the same day, in the same year. How bizarre is that?
As things progressed with Lucas, I told her how I had a pending promise with Kelley that she could rent a room in my house. She agreed that I should keep my word, although I suspect she wasn't happy about it. When I decided to propose to Lucas, I told Kelley what I was going to do. She asked if she would still be able to rent a room from me. Yes, a promise is a promise, I told her. So Kelley arranged to transfer from where she was working, for a big insurance conglomerate, to their local office, near me, on Long Island. What I didn't then realize is that Kelley hadn't told her family that our relationship had wound down to a friendship, after I moved back to Long Island. She also neglected to inform them that I was now engaged, so when she moved from East Syracuse, they thought she was coming to join me, as my girlfriend.
At first, things went well. Kelley stayed on the ground floor, while I was two stories up, on the top floor. However, Lucas became more and more annoyed with the arrangement. Finally, things built up to the point where she refused to come spend time with me, at my house, anymore, until Kelley left. I had a talk with Kelley. I asked her to find a place to live and move out. After all, the arrangement was supposed to have been temporary. I said Lucas felt uncomfortable about the situation and that Kelley should give us space, and in time, Lucas would grow comfortable with Kelley as my friend. She said she couldn't find a place she could afford. I told her to ask around at work. Perhaps there was another woman at her job that would be wiling to share a place with her. She didn't do that. Instead, after I insisted that she must leave, ASAP, she asked her employers if she could transfer back to her old job in Syracuse. Unfortunately, they informed her, the old job had now been filled, but as she had told them she was moving back to Syracuse, she was terminated at her job on Long Island. Kelley blamed me for this and moved back to her parents, now jobless. To make matters worse and to cover her own ass, she told her parents that she had no idea I was getting married and had only found out after moving down to Long Island. So her parents now thought of me as a complete heel. I always get the blame for everything.

3 Comments:

Blogger Karelian Blonde said...

I really have enjoyed this one and also the two previous episodes. It has become a regular feature every night to have a peek in to someone elses intimate life, sort of like a soap opera in a past tense. Looking forward to the next "episode" :)

11:37 AM  
Blogger Joey B said...

karelian, it's strange, but London radio DJ, Opal Bonfante kept pushing me to write these pieces. I hadn't thought people would be that interested in them. They aren't as funny as what I usually do.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Joey B said...

Maybe it's because I am a guy that I don't get why people like this stuff. Mostly, it seems to be the female readers who like it.

2:30 PM  

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