By George!

George Michael was "cautioned" by police for possession of cannabis, this past Sunday. "Cautioned" is the British way of saying, "given a warning." This is the second time this year that Georgie has been found asleep/passed out in his car, with cannabis. This time, he was found in his car at a traffic light. Other motorists called the police and reported that his Mercedes was blocking traffic. He was just having a rest and not hurting anyone. There seem to be a lot of folks who will rat you out to the cops, here in the UK. Maybe they were jealous over his Mercedes. Why don't I ever stumble across him? I would have helped him out, maybe driven him home. I think George needs a good friend. He should contact me and take me with him, whenever he's going for one of his drives. I can be his designated driver. He and I have something in common: we both drive German cars.
I wonder if he had been my mate, Dave, instead of someone famous, would the police let him off with only a warning? Twice? People sometimes ask me why I want to be famous. This is an example of why. It gets you out of things. Maybe it wasn't cannabis, but was oregano. When you are a celebrity, you need to carry your own spices around with you. I never get jealous of other people's cars. If anyone reading this knows George, tell him to get in touch. I'll sort him out.