Saturday, August 12, 2006

Humor Wasted On a German Girl

On Thursday and Friday, I got some work from the temp agency, which is great, because I need the money. They sent me to a restaurant that I had been to before. It was the first place they ever sent me, back in May, 2005. They have a bunch of new staff since then, although the head chef and manager are the same. One of the new staff is a tall, German girl. I mean, really tall. I find tall women and women with German accents, attractive, so I tried talking to her. I asked her how tall she is, but she could only say in metric and I don't really do metric, when it comes to height. Looking at her, she had to be at least six feet tall...maybe even six feet and one inch and this in flat shoes. I am six feet and one half an inch, so I think she light have been slightly taller than me. It's been a fantasy of mine, for over twenty years, to date a woman taller than me.
I asked her if she was from Germany. She seemed a little surprised at this and said yes, she was. She asked me how I knew she was from Germany. Duh! "Your accent," I said. Despite Germany's reputation for producing wonder weapons during World War II, I suppose this uber-chick isn't a rocket scientist. I estimate she was in her mid-twenties, which is an uphill battle for me, these days, given that I start out with a twenty year deficit on someone of that age. I rely on my most effective weapons, charm and humor, in situations like these. During the course of Thursday, I kept speaking to her and being very lightly flirtatious. The head chef picked up on it and said to her, "is he taking you home?" He likes to tease people. This totally seemed to throw her and she asked, extremely puzzled, "why would he be taking me home?" Oh dear...she wasn't exactly quick in the wit department. "I just wondered, given the way he is talking to you," the head chef explained.
This can be one of the problems when talking to someone who's first language isn't English. While she had a good command of conversational English, she didn't get the subtler nuances or the humor. The head chef teasingly asked her if she owned her own home. She said yes, at first, in a very poor attempt at sarcasm, then admitted she rented a room, when we didn't all laugh. Gee, we have something in common, as I, too, rent a room. At least she wasn't living with a boyfriend, or husband. She didn't seem very popular with her co-workers. She ate her lunch alone, rather than sit with anyone else. On Friday, when I saw her sitting alone, yet again, I contemplated going to sit with her. However, I decided she might find this an intrusion, given that she sat herself quite far from the rest of us, during lunch. Later, I asked her why she always eats alone, but she didn't answer me, so I asked what she was doing over the weekend. She said she was working Saturday and, "I don't know yet, " on Sunday.
"I've done that, before," I said, jokingly.
"Done what?"
"I don't know, yet," I responded with a bemused look on my face. She didn't get it and just continued working, probably imagining that I am crazy. She was working Saturday and I am filming in London, on Sunday. This just didn't seem to be working out.
Ironically, while I was waiting on hold to speak to Bill Buckley, on LBC 97.3, London (Sky Channel 0177 or via the internet at: ), Bill was talking to a German woman,who is a regular caller to LBC. She mentioned being single. Bill commented on the German language not sounding very nice. I was on air next, after her, and I told Bill I find German women speaking English with a German accent particularly sexy sounding. I also like hearing German spoken, even though I don't understand much of it. I pointed out that I like the music of the band, Rammstein, who usually sing in German, even though I don't understand what they are saying. So even German language is appealing to me, not just German accented English. Bill said that, surely, I must be in a minority. Am I?


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