Monday, June 04, 2007

Meeting Jodie Marsh

Yesterday, I attended the final audition for Jodie Marsh's search for a husband. It was held in Bournemouth and I drove the 81 miles to attend. As part of my preparation, I read Jodie's autobiography, "Keeping It Real." I found it helpful, as I only had a limited knowledge of her before hearing about these auditions. There was one problem, though: reading the book didn't allow me to form any emotional attachment to her, or to the idea of marrying her. I wondered how I would feel about her, when I got to know her?
I intended to arrive early and that much went according to plan. When I got there, I was the first auditionee to arrive. In fact, I arrived even before Jodie did. Rumor had it that she was doing an interview at another location, which delayed her. Speaking of interviews, I was approached by a reporter and photographer from a local, Bournemouth paper. They wanted to interview me about auditioning for Jodie and I happily agreed. As I waited, several other auditionees showed up. Immediately, it was apparent that there was a great difference between me and the rest. I was taking it very seriously. Accordingly, I wore my best suit, best cuff links, and my best cologne. Most of the others were dressed casually, with jeans and T-shirts. Another difference was age. Most of them seemed so young, I thought they might all have been younger than Jodie. I am older than her. A couple of them admitted to doing it, "for a laugh." By contrast, I felt I was there to meet my prospective bride. I felt sure I had more to offer Jodie than the rest.
After a comfortable wait, Jodie arrived. I caught a glimpse of her strolling past the entrance of the room we were waiting in. In due course, they were ready for me to be miked. The auditions/interviews were being filmed for television, as the search is part of a reality show to be aired on MTV. Once I was wired for sound, there was a further period of waiting. It was then that potential disaster struck. I felt so nervous that I could feel my pulse, pounding through my body. Why was I nervous? I've been on auditions many times before. Well, this seemed incredibly important. I wasn't just auditioning for a TV show, I was auditioning to marry someone. As the blood thundered through my veins, I had a thought. I was surprised my nose hadn't started bleeding. As regular readers will recall, I had a serious nose bleed this past Wednesday, just before I was supposed to do "Big Brother's Big Mouth" (see, "Big Mouth Bad Luck?," 31 May, 2007). On that occasion, I went to the hospital and had my nose cauterized. On Saturday, I felt an irresistible urge to blow my nose. I tried to do so gently, but when I did, there was an explosion of blood and it looked like the cauterization came flying out. As a result, I have again been experiencing recurring bleeding from my nose. No sooner had I thought about bleeding, than I stated bleeding from my nose. I let one of the production people know and was led to a bathroom. There I was, miked, and ready to try to win the heart of my prospective bride and I was suffering from another nose bleed.
Spending some time in the men's room, I was joined by a cameraman! They were trying to film me attempting to stop my nose from bleeding. For the first time, I had a taste of why some celebrities get so annoyed with paparazzi. There are times when one wants a little privacy. Oh well, this is the lifestyle I signed up for. Rather quickly, I did manage to stop the bleeding. I was ready to meet Jodie. I was led around to the hot seat; a stool in front of a panel consisting of Jodie, her brother Jordan, and her good friend, Kyle. They had my answers to ten questions from the application form. I felt a little reserved at first, but they quickly put me at ease and I started to relax and let more of my personality out. I won't discuss the exact questions and answers that were given, because I don't want to possibly aid one of my competitors. I did think the interview went well.
Jodie was marvelous and my earlier concerns were laid to rest. She was nothing like she is made to look in the media. She was dressed casually, but tastefully. Jodie looked so much more beautiful than she looks in photographs. Speaking with her, I got a sense of her that couldn't be grasped from reading her book, or looking at her photographs. All too soon, it was over. She graciously autographed my book before I took my leave. All the way home I reflected on the experience. I hadn't disliked her. Quite the contrary. I found her charming and sweet. When I arrived home, after eating a late lunch, I felt tired. I decided to take a nap.
The sleep did me good. I drifted gently awake, then lay in bed, thinking about Jodie, again. Suddenly, I realized something had changed. I felt different. For the first time since I had first seen the ad, I was feeling something emotionally positive about her and the prospect of marrying her. Whatever reservations I might have had were gone. It dawned on me that I could give myself wholeheartedly, emotionally, as well as legally, to her, if I were to succeed in winning her hand in marriage. I was overcome by the realization that I really do want to marry Jodie Marsh. This was good news as well as bad news. The good news is that I could have feelings for her. Previously, I was intellectually prepared to be married to her, but not emotionally prepared. The bad news was that I was developing an emotional stake in the outcome. If I don't succeed in winning her hand in marriage, I was going to feel hurt. I had crossed a threshold. Whatever happens now, it's going to be an emotional roller coaster.
Then, the phone rang. I wondered if it was Jodie. It wasn't. It was my good friend, Jan, the artist. Earlier in the day, her daughter had broken up with her boyfriend. Jan was taking her to the cinema, to cheer her up. I love the cinema, so I invited myself along. Maybe getting out of the house and doing something would get my mind off Jodie Marsh. Ironically, the film we ended up seeing was, "Wedding Daze." Starring Jason Biggs and Isla Fisher, "Wedding Daze" is the story of two strangers who decide to get married. So, rather than taking my mind off Jodie, it made me think about her more. If you get a chance to see "Wedding Daze," do. I think it is a funny, romantic comedy. I wish I could take Jodie to see it, as it seems entirely appropriate to our situation.


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