Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Flower Brings Me Another Gift

Speaking of "Casino Royale," I was watching the original "Casino Royale," last night, on ITV 3 or ITV 4, or something like that. If you haven't seen the 1967 version, it's a spoof of Bond films and one of the most bizarre films I have ever seen. Anyway, I am in my usual repose on my settee, when in walk M1 and the Exotic Flower. The Flower gleefully tells me that she has a present for me. The last time she brought me a present, it was left-over popcorn from the cinema. Curious as to what she'd brought this time, I looked up inquiringly. She seemed really excited and produced a long loaf of French bread. She'd bought me a French stick. How thrilling. Nothing to go in it, just the bread.
The flower and M1 had stopped at the local Shell petrol station, which has a Sainsbury's Express shop. In the evenings, the staff mark down stuff that's reached its sell by date. The Flower had spotted French bread marked down to ten Pence per loaf. Unable to resist such a bargain, she purchased one loaf for her and M1, and one for me. The Flower was proud that she had taken my advice and started buying bargains. She asked me if I liked French stick. I assured her I did. I used to have some with the Black Queen, when I was married. The BQ would purchase French stick, cold cuts, cheese, and some cole slaw, spread a tablecloth on the floor of the lounge, and we would have a picnic in front of the tele. The only problem I had now was that I don't have any cold cuts.
I congratulated the Flower on passing her Driving Theory (written) exam. The mismatched couple didn't fancy watching "Casino Royale" (1967) and asked if they could put something else on. I agreed, having seen it before. I asked the Flower if she had seen "War of the Worlds" (2005), as I had watched the premier of it on Sky, earlier. She told me that she hadn't seen it, but had wanted to. I checked Sky multi-start, and there was a showing that had only recently started. I put it on for her and it was at the point where the action is about to start. Suddenly, she jumps up and says she is going to run upstairs, and change into her PJs. I warned her that if she went right then, she would miss a good bit. Of course, she goes anyway and misses the whole sequence of the first tripod attacking.
Upon her return, she proceeds to ask me if there is anything scary in the film. "Not to me," I replied. She doesn't look reassured by this response. It seems that the bossy Exotic Flower is terrified of scary films. Attempting to watch "War of the Worlds," she says that she gets interested in these films, but is too scared to watch them. She starts getting paranoid after seeing them. "So, you think alien machines are buried beneath us and are about to attack?" I hoped that hearing how absurd she sounded might embarrass her out of being frightened. She asked me what happens in the end. M1 then announces that the humans must lose, because how could they fight such superior technology. "War of the Worlds," originally a novel by H. G. Wells, has been a radio play, a couple of films, and a TV series. I wondered how anyone, in this day and age, could not know what happens in the end? The Flower observes that the music in the film keeps building as if something is about to happen.
"Do you ever see the aliens?" she asks.
"Eventually," I reply, helpfully.
Finally, after about twenty minutes, she and M1 abandon the film and go upstairs to watch a rebroadcast of "The X Factor." "You can watch it down here," I call after them, but it's too late. They have shut themselves in M1's room. I ended up deprived of the Flower's company.


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