Monday, July 31, 2006

An MP3 of Me!

The conquest of all media continues! Pauly in the Morden, who is a regular reader of my blog, has recorded an MP3 of one of my articles, over a musical background. It's so funny! Check out his dramatic reading at his Myspace page, here:
I just got off the air with James Max, on LBC 97.3, London. (Sky Channel 0177 or internet at: ) James claims I am his favorite caller and I was his first caller, this evening. James was talking about people being late to work and asked what excuses people have used. When I called, I told his producer I am often late and that I wanted to tell James about my best excuse. It was back when I was married and working as a travel agent. I used to regularly volunteer to work Sundays at the agency call centre, because then I got Saturday off. My evil ex-wife, the Black Queen, used to spend all day Sunday at her mother, which was closer to where I worked than it was to where we lived. She would drop me off at work, then spend the day with my evil ex-mother-in-law, then pick me up and take me back to the in-laws for dinner. So, this one Sunday, I was late and the manager on duty, as usual, asked me why I was late. I told him the truth...I was having sex with my wife. The Black Queen was in the mood and I wasn't about to miss out. The manager chuckled and said no more about it. As any married man will tell you, when you are married, the opportunity for sex is something to be cherished.
James' producer seemed to like this story and said he would put me on air immediately. When I got on air, James, as usual, started trying to rush me. He doesn't seem to have a long attention span. I told James my story and he seemed to get so flustered and embarrassed. He dumped out of my call faster than a speeding bullet. That must have been the shortest call I have ever had with James, or any other LBC presenter. Now James had a break right after, for traffic and travel, but he could have held me over while doing the break, so I think he was uncomfortable with what I said. James, do you not listen to the rest of LBC? This morning, Alison Bell made allusions to her pubic hair, for goodness sakes. What I said was not outrageous, compared to the usual content on the station. After James fled my call, he didn't have any other for the next 25 minutes. Oh James, you are so inhibited.


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