Why Doesn't Madonna Adopt Me?

Madonna is in the process of adopting a child from Malawi. Malawi's High Court issued an interim order allowing the adoption. This doesn't sit well with Malawi's leading child rights group, Eye of the Child. On Friday, the group announced that they would seek an injunction to stop the adoption. The group claim to be "safeguarding the future of a human being who, because of age, cannot express an opinion." What? Sounds like the meddling bunch of pinheads is messing up the future of the child. The one year old child has spent most of his life in an orphanage, after his mother died. His father, too poor to care for the boy, sent him to the orphanage. The father is happy for the adoption to proceed, the staff at the orphanage are happy for the adoption to proceed, the High Court are happy for the adoption to proceed, but this group of numpties aren't happy. What's it go to do with them? If I discovered that some idiot stopped me from living a life of luxury, as the adopted child of a super-rich, megastar, I would skin him alive. What child would say, "I'd rather stay in a life of poverty, than have a great life with a rich family?"
Some farsighted persons passed a law making it illegal for foreigners to adopt children in Malawi. The High Court, there, has agreed to let Madonna circumvent that law. Good for them! If Madonna ends up not being able to complete this adoption, someone should let her know that she can adopt me. I would be quite happy to move into her home and call her "mommy." And guys, change that ridiculous law.